I just proved that Creative Camp can come with me anywhere. Then I come home and –

Did I leave camp on the plane? Did TSA seize my mojo?

I feel behind.

But I can’t get “behind”: the whole point of camp is fun.

So why do I feel like thissss?

Day 12 of taking myself to Creative Camp.

I’m a creative director trying to stay creative even when life gets messy. This is my experiment: 30 creative adventures to practice my creative practice. 

I feel tired, slow, and sad.

While Creative Camp was on business, there was messy stuff happening at home. And now I’m a not-so-happy camper.

Maybe my prompt knows the answer. Let’s see if camp can pull me outta this funk.

THIS, not just fun, is also the whole point – to allow the camp container to move me out of overthinking, out of perfectionism, out of the externally-motivated desire to hyper-optimize everything and truly just BE. HERE. NOW.

So let’s go, girl. (**Shania Twain riff**)

Today’s random prompt:

Discover.
Emotion.
Slow.

Okay now what the hell am I going to do with that?!

Deep breath. This prompt might be right on time?

Srsly tho. My inner monologue feels extra sassy. This prompt is all questions, no answers!

It also might be the first prompt that doesn’t direct me to MAKE anything and just asks me to – callback to Days 10 and 11 – BE. HERE. NOW.

Hoping for a loophole, a shortcut, anything, I phone a friend. More precisely, I use Rule #1 and pull out the creative affirmation cards that Lisa gifted me for Day 10.

OPTIMISM.

This feels like a dare. Or a slap in the face? Just as I’m feeling the familiar pull to dissolve into a puddle of existential despair, to let my sad guitar feelings soundtrack play me away into the sunset (check it out if that’s your pleasure, I made a public version on Spotify).

But this card says oh so gently:

“No. You can’t “Iron & Wine” your way out of this one, sweetheart.”

Optimism is a call to action, to – not necessarily MAKE an happy ending happen, cuz we don’t always get one- but to be OPEN to looking in a different direction. 

And wasn’t it just Day 11 that reminded me, as Coach Bennett says with running, you don’t have to run every day to be a runner every day.

You don’t have to create every day to be creative every day.

I still don’t know what the prompt wants me to do, tho…

So I draft one practice off another (that one’s for my fellow cycling nerds) and go out for Day 44 of triathlon training to BE HERE NOW and DISCOVER EMOTION SLOW(ly) and optimistically!

(While wearing my shitting rainbows socks, because of course.)

Creative Camp does not hand me a happy ending on a silver platter.

I go home and…go to bed.

I don’t make anything.

I also don’t make any DECISIONS, either.

I follow the prompt and let it take up the full 24 hours. I do the opposite of MAKING. I simply discover.

If I wasn’t at camp, I know the temptation would be to MAKE something, alright.

Make a scene.
Make the problem worse.
Make it mean something it doesn’t.

I feel grateful for Creative Camp being there like a good friend encouraging me to, as the card says: BE OPEN.

Isn’t optimism just being open to a new possibility?

If this thing is NOT going to go my way, what new way am I going to go?

Yeah. I like that. I can try that.

So that’s Day 12.

Took me almost two weeks of camp to see that just creativity ISN’T the same as visibility – something you can hang on the wall, stick to your fridge, upload to Instagram – just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

I know I said, you don’t have to create every day to be creative every day. But what if that’s not giving your creativity enough credit?

Welcome to camp.