The Worst Email To Send Your Customers

What if, instead of all the “Now more than ever” COVID ads with piano soundtracks, sepia filters, and hopeful lens flares…

Big box advertisers just did what small biz email marketers do when they don’t know what to say:

Say nothing. Then say sorry.

I can see it now:

You’re watching 90 Day Fiancé (and wondering why they keep giving Jesse screen time) when the Mucinex man bursts onto the screen to say:

Hey guys, I know you haven’t heard from me in a while. Life’s been CrAzY. Lockdown, homeschooling the kids, you know what I’m saying. But I’m finding my new normal and you can look forward to me advertising here 12x a day from now on.”

The Geico gecko doesn’t apologize for “falling off the blog horse,” so why would the copywriter whose emails I subscribe to?

The biggest sin I see in email marketing isn’t failing to email more often, it’s begging forgiveness for not doing so.

(Hence why I call it a “sin” at all: because my inbox is full of people asking me to absolve them of it!)

But what do you do with an email list that’s gone cold?

In this episode of Awkward Marketing, I’m revealing everything a talking hamburger taught me (I mean, who better to speak on this?) about:

  • Subscriber freezer burn
  • The WORST email to send your customers, and
  • Warming up a cold list

…in less than 7 minutes.

P.S. Have you subscribed to Awkward Marketing on YouTube yet? Well, have ya?

Rachael Kay Albers

Rachael Kay Albers is a creative director, business comedian, and brand strategist gone wild. She writes and performs about branding, pop culture, tech, and identity. When she’s not muckraking about marketing, Rachael runs RKA ink, a reinvention studio and branding agency for businesses that burn the rulebook. She's also on Instagram a lot.